Coming Out – Expectations vs Reality

I can’t believe it has been well over a decade since I came out.

I wish that I had the ability to reach out to my younger-closeted self, so that I could share a glimpse of the reality that would be. While struggling with my identity, I allowed my deepest fears to guide many of my choices and beliefs. When it comes to the law of attraction, fear can be the most powerful barrier standing in your way of achieving what we want. Like many, what I really wanted was to achieve an authentic and happy life.

I knew from a very early age that I was different. My interests and curiosities did not always fit with the norm. I allowed myself to believe that fitting in the norm was the easier way to go about my day-to-day. At some point, however, I discovered that this could not be further from the truth. Denying who you are and allowing that to hinder your daily interests, expressions, and your identity is soul crushing. I allowed this to continue for many years. Why? Because my fears were able to dictate my expectations of what would happen if I came out of the closet as gay. Coming out had its ups and downs, but ultimately the reality of coming out was an incredibly positive experience for me.

Let Me Out is an expression of everything I was able to take away from my coming out of the closet. The book does not brush off the turmoil many of us face when not only questioning who we are, but how others will react to our identity. It was important that the focus of this children’s LGBTQ+ book be the celebratory moment of  accepting who we are and everything that this now allows for. It is a testament to all the realities that I experienced versus the exaggerated expectations that I chose to believe. Yes, the narrative is based on my story and not everyone has a positive journey to recount, but my hope with Let Me Out is that we not only normalize coming out, but embrace it as a celebration.

Here’s a look at some of my Expectations vs Realities with coming out of the closet:

EXPECTATION – MY FAMILY WILL DISOWN ME.

LGBT Family Acceptance

EXPECTATION – I WILL LOSE ALL OF MY FRIENDS.

LGBT Friend Support

EXPECTATION – I WILL HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE.

Coming out of the closet

EXPECTATION – I WILL BE JUDGED AND NOT ABLE TO EXCEL.

Embrace your true self

EXPECTATION – I WILL HAVE TO FIT A STEREOTYPE


Let Me Out: a pop-out about coming out was created as a resource and tool for the LGBTQ+ and allies of the community. It is currently available for preorder here.

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